My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize