I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was like eating out sand paper
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
