Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
