ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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