When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just google imaged poop.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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