I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
