Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
