Non-Jews are for practice
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
