i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
