great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
