I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
