I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she told me i tasted like america
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
sex in a hospital.. check
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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