I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I need moral support for this bender
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
