think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
