whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
