You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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