All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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