Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
