it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
