found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
