the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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