Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
