So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize