what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize