8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
