Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
