dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
