i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
