So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
