Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
