I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
