I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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