you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
