My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
