Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
