no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
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