Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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