I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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