like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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