No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
