Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
