I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He did a backflip because drugs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
