i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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