What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
