Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
