just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Randomize
