The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
