This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
