I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
