i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
