Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
