Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
