Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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