we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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