Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
