She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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