Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
