Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
